The Misadventures of Padfoot
by MarieKavanagh
Summary: Three of the many occasions in which Remus rescues Padfoot from a local dog shelter (and the one time he nearly doesn't)
1. Chapter 1

This was the last time, Remus told himself firmly as he marched up the entrance path to the shelter, the familiar stench of too many dogs hitting him suddenly as he stepped through the doors. This was the last time he was going to do this. Never again. He wasn't going to be made to go through this ordeal anymore.

"Mr Lupin, pleasure as always" greeted the woman behind the reception desk, wearing the same fur-covered fleece and thinly-veiled disapproving expression as she had on every one of Remus's previous unfortunate visits.

"Fifth time this month, isn't it, Jen? Does that make me a regular?" Remus figured he may as well attempt to add a little humour to the situation.

Judging by her unwavering frown, however, the kennel manager did not quite share his views.

"This is not a joking matter, Mr Lupin" she scolded in a tone that immediately took Remus back to the front of the oak desk in Professor McGonagall's office, being reminded once again that as a Prefect he ought to know better. "As you said yourself, this is the fifth time this month!"

Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair awkwardly, trying to summon his pre-prepared excuses that had all sounded so much more acceptable at home a mere hour ago than they did now.

"I know, I know, it's just been so difficult recently, what with the works being done on the house... I told the builders to make sure the gate was shut... and that loose plank in the garden fence... I've been meaning to secure it for ages, I suppose it was only a matter of time before he-"

"Yes, well, whatever the circumstances, it simply needs to stop. This is a shelter, Mr Lupin, not a boarding facility"

"Well best we get this sorted out quickly then. I know the drill, just pass me the papers to sign, I'll pay up and we'll both be out of your hair"

Remus eyed the woman's fleece noticeably, raising one eyebrow.

"Or should I say fur?"

The woman's nostrils flared angrily for a second before she silently passed Remus the annoyingly-familiar reclaiming form, slamming a pen on top with an indignant sniff.

Remus breezed through the form quickly. He could fill the boxes out in his sleep by now, the only ever subtle change being the date box at the bottom beside his neat signature. Remus sighed as he filled in the final detail - 21/04/79 - precisely eleven days since his presence last graced this forsaken place.

"So that's just the usual thirty pounds reclaiming fee, please" said Jen briskly as she shuffled the completed papers in order.

Remus sighed and dug the money out of his pocket, handing it over through clenched teeth.

"Thank you. Wait here, please"

Well he was hardly about to go off for a stroll around the gardens, Remus wanted to snap in reply.

He hated this place. The mingling smells of too many canines jumbled up together always made his wolf senses uneasy, not to mention the fact that the welcome he received from the manager was frostier each time.

He was just wondering to himself for the umpteenth time why in Merlin's name Padfoot seemed to enjoy spending time here when the mangy mutt in question suddenly bounded into view from behind a barred door across the waiting area, an enormous mass of silky black fur, his entire body seeming to wag with the force of his thick, feathery tail, the poor kennel worker accompanying him desperately trying to regain some control of her charge via the slip lead she was clinging to for dear life as she was dragged across the reception.

Unphased by the enormous dog charging towards him, Remus stood firm as Padfoot came practically jumped at him, tongue lolling excitedly, his bright grey eyes practically gleaming with joy. He looked for all the world as if he'd had the time of his life over the past five hours or so he had been at the shelter.

Remus wasn't joining in.

"No need to look so proud of yourself, old boy, you've caused enough trouble today as it is without adding this poor girl's injuries to the list"

He gestured to the struggling teenager at the end of the slip lead being wildly jerked about on the slippery tiled floor as the enormous dog attempted to run rings around Remus, shamelessly trying to goad him into giving him a much-desired scratch behind the ears.

"Not a chance" Remus said firmly as the dog shoved his head under his hand insistently. He jerked his hand away, hiding it safely inside his coat pocket.

With a low, disgruntled whine, Padfoot gave up on his lost cause and returned to the kennel girl, who, though clearly overwhelmed, giggled as Padfoot shamelessly leapt up to put his paws on her shoulders and began licking her face.

"He's always so friendly" she said between laughs.

"He picks his moments well" Remus interjected, noticing the large handful of treats bulging inside the girl's pocket.

As expected, the second the girl's hand reached for her pocket, the great mutt was back on all fours, sweetly nuzzling her curled-in fingers, the picture of innocence.

"I think he knows he's one of my favourites" the girl grinned fondly as Padfoot greedily snaffled the treats out of her hand.

"Oh he does" Remus replied shortly.

"Not that he should be here often enough for him to be a favourite" the ever steely-eyed manager added, throwing another side-glance at Remus, who resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"So do you plan on coming home with me today or have you decided you'd rather stay here after all?" he called to the great black lump of a dog currently nuzzling the girl's treat pocket, ears laid back demurely, shamelessly begging for more.

His ears pricked up at Remus's suggestion, however. He turned on his heels, bounding back over to him, panting happily.

"Oh so you've decided I'm not so bad after all then?" Remus asked, looking down at him with one raised eyebrow.

Padfoot whined, rubbing his head against Remus's leg in reply.

"Oh he's so adorable" the kennel girl gushed as she gently slipped the rope slip off from over his head.

"I know" Remus replied, grasping Padfoot's collar tightly as the dog's entire body shook from the force of his wagging tail.

"And unfortunately, so does he"

"Do try to keep a better hold on him this time, Mr Lupin" said the kennel manager by way of a farewell. "As lovely as he may be, I'd rather we didn't see him again too soon"

"Don't worry, the feeling is very much mutual" Remus replied cheerfully as he clipped his own lead onto the dog's collar, hoping the generous helping of sarcasm came through in his tone.

Judging by the way the manager pursed her lips as they left, it had.

"I'm not doing it again, Sirius, I mean it this time!" Remus snapped as he shrugged off his coat as the front door closed behind them.

"Oh come on, it was worth it, did you see the look on that old cow's face as we left?" the newly-transformed Sirius laughed, stretching his arms above his head, a bit stiff after so many hours in dog form. "She looked like Snivellus chewing on a lemon!"

"Well I'm glad you find this so amusing because I don't. But then you're the one who gets the sweet end of the deal, sitting there being fawned over while I suffer through yet another lecture about not letting you get loose again. You realise I'm running out of excuses to explain how you keep ending up running wild?"

Sirius rolled his eyes in his usual typically dramatic fashion as he unbuckled Padfoot's collar from around his neck, hanging it up on the coat hook next to his leather motorbike jacket where it always hung when he was not transformed.

It was remarkable how a simple strip of black leather with a small brass tag could have once been the trigger of so much bickering between the two wizards.

_"It's the law, Sirius, all dogs have to wear one in public." Remus had said sternly as he held out the newly-purchased collar and tag bearing their address and phone number._

_After several threats to go out and purchase the offending item, threats which Sirius had brushed off as empty, he'd actually gone and done it._

_"I'd rather not pay a whacking great fine for having an unlicensed dog on top of paying the shelter reclaiming fee every other week"_

_"What's the big deal? You know I always pay you back"_

_"And where will you be once you've blown your last galleon on paying Muggle fines? My work doesn't pay enough to keep us afloat alone, for all the hours it takes up. And besides, what if one day they take you somewhere I can't find you? Dogs are only held for seven days before being put up for rehoming, you know"_

_Sirius shrugged._

_"A few days being adored by a nice Muggle family before I run away and find my way back to you, sounds like a nice little holiday if you ask me"_

_Remus narrowed his eyes darkly at Sirius._

_"You do understand what they do to dogs in shelters before rehoming them, don't you?"_

_The momentary look of confusion on Sirius's face as he met Remus's knowing look before he visibly paled with dread told him that he hadn't, but he certainly did now._

_"Alright, fine" he snapped impatiently, snatching the collar from Remus. "I'll wear the damn thing. Happy now?"_

"Christ, Moony, what's the big deal? It's just a bit of fun" Sirius snapped, the humour now drained from his voice."It's not like I've got much better to do, anyway"

Remus sighed.

He knew Sirius was getting more and more frustrated with being out of action from the Order.

Just over a month and a half ago, the pair had been involved in an intelligence-gathering mission for Dumbledore that had gone less than desirably well. No casualties this time, thankfully, but thanks to a faulty batch of Polyjuice potion, it had resulted in the identities of them both almost being exposed to the Death Eaters they were impersonating. It should have been easy. There shouldn't have even been any Death Eaters in Knockturn Alley that day, let alone in Borgin and Burke's, if their spies were to be believed.

But there had been.

The pair had only just managed to escape to somewhere safe enough to Apparate with seconds to spare at most before being discovered.

Albus had frowned worriedly when they had relayed the evening's events to him back at headquarters.

"This is troubling, most troubling" he sighed thoughtfully, seeming to gaze off for a moment in thought. "I'm afraid I don't really see much choice in the matter... this will cause some inconvenience, but it is vital that neither of you are discovered to be members of the Order by the Death Eaters"

"You're not throwing us out are you?" Sirius demanded, immediately jumping to the worst possible conclusion as usual.

Albus chuckled a little at this.

"Heavens, no. But I will have to withdraw you from future Order missions for a while"

Sirius immediately opened his mouth to protest but was quickly silenced by both a nudge to his arm from Remus and a wave of the hand from Albus.

"It is vital to future plans that the identities of either of you are not discovered by either Voldemort or his followers. In hindsight it was foolish of me not to send you two out instead of some lower profile members, honestly. It certainly sounds as though it's unlikely you were seen, but I cannot take a risk here.

The wizard leaned forwards in his seat, his chin resting on his intertwined, spindly fingers.

"I need you both to lay low for a while"

"For how long?" Remus asked.

"A month, maybe two to be safe"

"What?!"

"You know I wouldn't ask it of you unless it were entirely necessary, Sirius"

Dumbledore's crystal blue eyes twinkled sternly behind his half-moon spectacles.

"The Death Eaters have been suspicious for a while that there is an organised movement working against them, led by me. Even if this information is confirmed to them, I want both of your identities left un-associated for as long as possible. Surely you of all people can understand the risks involved if certain Death Eaters were to discover your involvement with the Order?"

Sirius visibly stiffened.

It had been several years now since he had detached himself completely from his family, but the subject was still a sore one. His cousins Bellatrix and Narcissa were one thing; quite frankly he couldn't care less about what the vast majority of the House of Black thought of him or who he was working for.

However, he had taken the discovery that Regulus had joined the Death Eaters particularly hard, and had responded by uncharacteristically shutting down completely on the topic, flat-out refusing to discuss the matter with anyone, not even Remus, who automatically leaned in to squeeze Sirius's arm reassuringly.

"Alright" said the werewolf, speaking on behalf of them both. "We'll do it"

And so, Sirius had reluctantly backed down.

And so did they both from Order missions. Albus had advised the pair of them to greatly restrict the time they spent out and about in Wizarding London for the time being; the "out of sight, out of mind" approach, as he called it. Just in case.

He advised to cease all but absolutely essential visits to the Wizarding parts of the city until further notice.

"Until further notice", it soon became apparent, was far too long a length of time for Sirius to bear.


	2. Chapter 2

Life laying low in confinement actually rather suited Remus, he found.

The London spring weather had been typically temperamental, with most days passing in a chilly, grey drizzle which, in typical London fashion, would spit down from the skies constantly with little respite. Such weather left Remus with little desire to go out, even if he didn't have plenty of work at home to be getting on with. Most days he wiled away the hours at home in the flat easily, working his way through a pile of documents to proof-read and edit from the Wizarding branch of University College London.

He'd found an advert for the job in the Daily Prophet, the job advert section of which he still regularly checked on the off-chance that anything suitable came up. The odds of finding any vacancies that would be both suitable for and accepting of his Lycanthropy were worse than finding a needle in a haystack, but he was nothing if not an optimist.  
Aside from anything else, working for the Order of the Phoenix unfortunately didn't come with a salary, and with a life to maintain and a point-blank refusal to allow Sirius to support them both with his inheritance from his uncle, Remus had to find paid work somewhere.

The editing work was low-paying and tedious, but the supply was constant, and being able to complete the work at home meant that there was at least very little chance of his "furry little problem" being discovered, he hoped. The documents were delivered unscheduled by owls; some days several would show up at the kitchen window weighed down with heavy rolls of parchment, followed by days at a time with no deliveries at all. But with the end of the scholastic year approaching, the documents were currently arriving thick and fast. And at two Galleons a roll, Remus knew he'd be stupid to turn any of them down.

The little table in the corner of their small living room that had been designated as the dining area became a fortress consisting of piled textbooks and parchment rolls, dotted with spare inkwells, quills, and a mug of tea that was replaced every hour, on the hour.

As much as he'd rather be writing his own works than editing someone else's, Remus found the work therapeutic. The full moon had passed barely a week ago, and he was still regaining strength from the ordeal. Busying his mind with the in-depth discussions of the studies and essays he worked on allowed him to bury the depressive thoughts that so often threatened to overtake him in the run up to and days following his monthly transformation into a thoughtless beast under a pile of arguments, claims and theories. Remus was particularly keen on the documents discussing the study of Dark creatures, a subject both close to home and one he found genuinely interesting. He was, however, thankful to have been spared a paper on werewolves, so far.

Sirius, however, was not taking his redundancy nearly as well.

Being the restless spirit that he was, Sirius struggled to cope with the long hours of having nothing to do. His hopes of passing the days away by Flooing to James and Lily's recently-acquired cottage in Godric's Hollow were dashed when Dumbledore conveniently decided to send them both up to Scotland on a recruitment mission to the remote wizarding villages of the Scottish Highlands, after receiving word of rumours that followers of Voldemort had been seen spreading their own message within the area in recent weeks. The sporadic two-way mirror conversations he shared with James provided some relief from the isolation for Sirius, but nowhere near as much as a physical visit would have.

Some days, Sirius would pace sullenly about the flat incessantly like a caged animal, never able to settle in one room for too long before getting bored and moving on. He'd rummage through the bookcase, ruining Remus's organising system, attempting to find something that interested him, and usually failing. Every couple of hours he'd open the fridge to examine it's depressingly-boring contents in the hope that something exciting had appeared from nowhere, sigh in frustration and slam it shut again. Even the Muggle television, a device which usually fascinated him, provided little relief. More often than not, he spent more time getting up to switch channels than he did actually watching the programmes flickering on the screen.

And when he ran out of ways to amuse himself, Sirius sought relief in Remus, nagging the werewolf to constantly to take a break from his work to play chess, watch television, do anything that didn't involve sitting in silence at the table surrounded by piles of parchment and textbooks rather than with Sirius. Sometimes, Remus said yes. Most of the time, he said no.

"I need to get these done" Remus said firmly, giving the great black dog that had appeared at his side moments earlier a consoling scratch behind the ears. "And they'll be done a lot faster if you leave me to it"

The dog let out a low, unsatisfied growl, turning on his heels and trotting off in the direction of the bedroom. Retreating to sulk for a bit, Remus presumed, but leaving him in peace at last.

Alas, he was wrong.

Remus sighed as Padfoot returned, placing his tug rope toy expectantly on Remus's lap. The toy had originally been a joke present from James the first Christmas after they had become Animagi, but the rope had unexpectedly become one of Padfoot's favourite possessions.

"Honestly, Moony, tug-of-war is a vastly underrated sport among humans" Sirius had declared on many occasions. "Just one of the many tips we should be taking from our canine companions".

James had been significantly less impressed with his own present from Sirius that year- a video tape of the Muggle film, Bambi.

"Sirius, I said no" Remus said firmly, dropping the rope down at his paws. "Just leave me alone for a bit, will you?"

Padfoot gave an unsatisfied whine before suddenly rearing up at the table and snatching Remus's quill right out of his hand, running off with it dangling from his teeth.

"For fuck sake, Sirius, give that back!" Remus snapped, taking the bait and jumping up to grab for the quill and chase after him. Padfoot leaped joyfully about the small flat, revelling in the chase, in a crumb of excitement at last, until he finally slipped up.

Overestimating the size of the tiny living room, he knocked into the bookcase whilst mid-leap across the sofa. The wooden case wobbled dangerously. Remus's quick reflexes succeeded in securing the bookcase before it swung too far forward, preventing a total collapse, but not without several shelves-worth of books tumbling to the floor around him.  
One particularly volatile spell book on exotic hexes gave off a huge cloud of black smoke as it hit the floor, leaving most of the room covered in a sooty black powder.

Once sure the bookcase was secure against the wall, Remus whipped his head round in search of the culprit, only to find that Padfoot had conveniently vanished from the scene of his crimes, Remus's quill discarded guiltily on the floor.

"Brilliant" he seethed, examining the canine-induced chaos around him. Sighing to himself, he picked up the offending spell book and flipped through the pages in search of the counter-spell capable of removing the black stains covering the living room.

It seemed that work would have to wait.

It wasn't until several hours later that Padfoot slinked back into the living room, practically radiating guilt; crouched low, ears back, tail between his legs. He padded over to the dining table where Remus sat hunched over the parchment before him, finally approaching the end of his day's work.

Remus stole a quick sideways glance down at Padfoot. The dog hadn't looked this pathetic since last week's incident in which he had sent a bottle containing a particularly harsh-staining potion flying from the table with an overenthusiastic swipe of his tail, splashing it over one of Remus's favourite jumpers.

Padfoot had whined pitifully for forgiveness long after Remus had managed to charm most of the stain out of the fabric. For one who could so easily use his enormous size, jet black fur and gleaming white fangs to look so ferocious, he couldn't half look pathetic when he tried.

"Yes?" Remus asked as he began to pile up his parchment for the evening, his tone still clipped with an underdone of annoyance. "Can I help you?"

Padfoot let out a trademark pitiful whine and lowered his head to rest on Remus's knee, his shining grey eyes glistening up at him with words unspoken but their meaning no less obvious.

This was Sirius's favourite get-out-of-jail-free card to play. Far too stubborn to apologise out loud in human words, he would instead put on his best puppy-dog eyes and go for the "too cute to be mad at" approach when dealing with those he had wronged.

Unfortunately, it usually worked.

Remus sighed, running his fingers through the silky black fur behind Padfoot's ears.

"You make dinner tonight and wash up, without magic, and we'll call it even"

Padfoot thumped his tail enthusiastically against the floor and yipped, giving Remus's hand an appreciative lick before bounding off happily into the kitchen.

All in a day's charming.

"I'm going out" Sirius announced after breakfast one morning several weeks into their confinement.

The sun hung high and heavy in the unusually-blue sky, its warmth actually reaching the streets below for once, thanks to the lack of clouds that usually kept the city submerged in trademark grey. London always seemed to come back when the sun came out, as if awaking from hibernation. Birds were singing, people were cheerful, all was happy. It was a day too good to resist, too perfect to be wasted away gazing out of the flat window longingly whilst everyone else enjoyed it.

Remus sighed, not looking up from his usual spot behind his ink-and-parchment fortress, chin resting on his palm, quill in hand, the tip following the letters as he read. He was impressed that Sirius had lasted as long as he did before giving in to the urge to break their pact to limit their trips outside of the flat to the barest minimum, but no less surprised when he finally did.

"Sirius, you know Dumbledore said to stay off the streets as much as possible" he replied, scratching a note into the margins of the parchment.

"Ah, you see, sweet Moony, there lies the error of judgement" said Sirius pointedly, running his hand through his long, black hair at the mirror by the front door, as if there were anything in need of fixing. "Dumbledore said to stay off the streets of Wizarding London as much as possible. He said nothing about staying away from Muggle London. Anyway, I'll only be out for a couple of hours. Just for a walk, a breath of fresh air, no daring heroic acts of bravery today"

"It's still a pointless risk, Sirius" Remus still didn't look up from his parchment. The author of this essay really needed to work on their argument structure if they wanted the Ministry to consider reclassifying Cornish pixies as a protected species. "If the Death Eaters are keeping an eye out for us then they're bound to have eyes on the Muggle parts of the city as well"

"And if they are, they'll find themselves rather disappointed, since it's not my usual face they'll be seeing..."

Remus had just enough time to process Sirius's words and finally look up from his work to see Sirius grinning mischievously before he suddenly morphed into his Animagus form. The black dog's bright grey eyes twinkled with that same look of mischief, panting happily, his feathered tail swishing with excitement.

"Now that's just cheating" said Remus with a disapproving shake of his head. But before he could begin telling Sirius the several reasons he could come up with on the spot as to why this was a bad idea, the dog had turned swiftly on his heels, opened the front door with his paws (a skill Sirius had spent many hours perfecting and was very proud of) and was gone in the swish of his tail.

Remus collapsed back into his chair from the half-risen position he had barely realised he'd adopted and massaged his aching temples with his fingertips. It was pointless to run after him. Sirius could outrun him well enough on a good day, but with his muscles still aching from the full moon, Remus had no hope of catching him. Besides, for all he could be impulsive and mischief-hungry, Sirius wasn't stupid. He knew not to draw too much attention to himself.

Plus, the state of blissful quiet that had been cast upon the flat after Sirius's departure was far too tempting to cut short. This essay needed to be owled back to the University by this evening, and there was far more chance of Remus meeting his deadline without his quill being snatched or a bookcase threatening to fall on him.

And besides, Remus thought to himself as he dipped the nib of his quill into the inkwell, how much trouble could one dog cause in a few hours anyway?


	3. Chapter 3

The question of exactly how much trouble one dog could cause in a few house began to weigh ever so slightly heavier on Remus's mind as the hours in question gradually began to add up.

For the first couple of hours after Sirius had dashed out the front door, Remus relished the silence. The peaceful, quiet morning devoid of all his usual Sirius-induced distractions, he had managed to get an entire roll of parchment proof-read and edited in one single sitting. It felt like winning a marathon. I could get used to this, Remus thought to himself, in spite of his better judgement reminding him that Sirius was taking an unnecessary risk with his "just a breath of fresh air".

Exactly how long did was a breath of fresh air supposed to take, anyway?

Remus glanced at the clock on the wall. Half past twelve. Sirius had been gone for almost three hours. Surely he'd be back soon?

Forcing himself not to overthink the situation (Sirius always did say that was one of his less-desirable habits), Remus threw himself into his next document. But though he tried his hardest, he simply couldn't force his mind to focus on how the author of the essay had attempted to structure their argument in favour of the reintroduction of the Welsh Green dragon to it's former native habitat of Snowdonia National Park.

And as one o'clock turned into two o'clock, and two into three with still no sign of Sirius, any attempt at continuing was well and truly out the window. Unable to stand the thought that something may have happened to him, Remus shrugged on his jacket and went out in search of the missing wizard.

Remus scoured the streets surrounding their flat complex. The pavements and roads were teeming with Muggles, the late afternoon rush hour now in full swing. Such conditions made it difficult to pinpoint one exact person in the crowd, but surely a large black dog would still be quite easily seen. Against all hope, however, Remus found no sign that Sirius could be anywhere nearby.

As he strayed further from home, Remus raked his brain to think of a hint as to where Sirius could have gone. Would he have stayed in dog form, or would he be stupid enough to risk transforming back to human again somewhere? No, surely even he couldn't be that reckless. And suddenly it hit him like a brainwave. Where would a dog think to go to get as much enjoyment as possible out of a sunny spring afternoon?

The park.

Remus ploughed his way quickly through the crowd of Muggles in the direction of the nearest one not far from the flat.

"Come on, Sirius..." Remus muttered to himself as he whipped his head round in every direction, scanning the open fields of the park for a familiar black dog. "Where are you?"

The sky, once a rich, deep blue was now fading to streaks of pink were starting to peak into view. Evening would be upon London before long, and Remus was starting to panic now. All kinds of thoughts began to swim through his mind, each more worrying than the next as to what could possibly have become of Sirius.

"Lost something, mate?"

The voice with it's strong Cockney twang took Remus by surprise, he was so wrapped up in his own thoughts.

He turned to see a Muggle man who looked a few years older than him with two over-excited Springer Spaniels running rings around him.

"Yes, my dog" Remus replied. Perhaps the man had seen him. "You haven't seen him, have you? Big, long black fur, bit of a nutter"

The man chuckled.

"Certainly know a thing or two about nutters me-self" he said, gesturing to his dogs. "But nope, can't say I've seen one like that. Sorry, mate"

Remus swore under his breath, glancing round at the green field hopelessly again.

"Have you tried calling any of the rescue centres?" the man suggested. "If he was running about loose then someone might have taken him there. Taken a few loose strays there myself over the years"

Remus could have kicked himself.

"Damn, why didn't I think of that?" he said to himself. "I need to check..."

"Here, wait a minute" the man called as Remus began to stumble back towards the park gates. He rummaged in his back pocket and held out a crumpled piece of paper. "There's the number for the closest one. It's on the 287 route. You know it?"

"Er, yes. I mean- I'll find it. Thanks!" Remus snatched the paper and ran off in the direction of the phone box just outside the park fence.

Rummaging in his coat pocket, he dug out some loose change and fed it into the machine, his shaking fingers dialling the number on the paper.

"Hello?" the voice that answered the phone was brisk, suggesting an overworked owner.

"Yes, hello" Remus tried to control the anxiety in his voice. "Um, I think you might have my dog? I think he was loose in the park today?"

"Description?"

"Umm, big, black, long haired..." Remus raked his mind for any more distinctive details. "Grey eyes? Might look a bit odd on him"

"Oh right, yes we did have one like that brought in a few hours ago. No collar?"

Remus felt his heart skip a beat as he sighed in relief. "Oh thank fuck for that" he said. "Crap, sorry" he added at the disapproving cough echoing through the receiver. "When can I come and get him?"

"We close at six. Can you get here in time?"

Remus checked his watch. Nearly 5 o'clock. "I'm on my way"

He hung up the phone so fast that in his haste it slipped off of it's hook and clanged against the glass of the phone box door as Remus slammed it behind him.

He did think to himself, as he counted out the Muggle coins for the bus fare, that it was a good thing the shoe wasn't on the other foot. Sirius could barely work a telephone, let alone be trusted to have any emergency Muggle currency on him. Not that he'd be able to count out the correct bus fare in the first place, that is.

"Lead snapped, you say?"

The tone the woman behind the desk used suggested that in her book, no excuse as to how a dog ended up in her care was good enough.

"Yeah. Really should have replaced it ages ago, it was getting rather weak. My own fault"

The way in which the woman silently pursed her lips as she handed Remus the reclaiming forms to fill in assured him that she very much agreed.

Remus resisted the urge to shoot her a sarcastic "thank you" as he took the papers and pen from her.

His eyes scanned over the questions that needed answering.

_"Name of dog"_

_"Padfoot"_ Easy enough.

_"Age"_

_"Unknown"_ Remus decided was the safest answer after some thought.

_"Breed"_

Remus resisted the urge to chew the tip of the pen in thought. He'd often thought it odd that Sirius's Animagus form didn't resemble any true dog breed he'd ever come across. He was more of a great, black furry mess all of his own.

_"Crossbreed"_ Remus eventually wrote in the answer box. _"I'll have you know I'm so purely-bred that I'm slightly in-bred"_

_"Licence number"_

Oh damn. Remus had completely forgone the thought of Muggle dog licencing requirements when planning how to deal with the situation. Still, the law was a lax one, he was aware.

He filled the box with a simple pen stroke.

The woman's eye twitched slightly as she scanned the completed paperwork. Remus suspected she was trying to withhold the urge to mutter "Obviously" as she took in the empty licence number box.

"You'll want to get that sorted" she said as she shuffled the papers into order.

"Absolutely" Remus agreed. Better to just go along with whatever she said. The sooner he had Sirius back and they were both out of here, the better.

"Take a seat, please" said the woman briskly, gestured to the benches across the reception area.

Obeying the request, Remus watched the woman march across the room, papers in hand, to the barred door that led to the kennel area.

Now alone, Remus took the time to examine his surroundings properly. It smelled. Even without his heightened wolf senses, he could tell that the smell was too strong for even Muggle noses. A putrid mixture of dog hair and too much disinfectant in a valiant attempt to mask the overpowering canine aromas. The overwhelming chorus of barking in the distance suggested that the noise within the kennel was deafening. Remus wondered how anyone could work surrounded by that noise all day and not go mad. It was bad enough listening to it now, from a distance, for just a few minutes. The paint on the door frames was peeling. There was a stain on one of the ceiling panels. Marks of an establishment left underfunded and overused.

Suddenly, the sound of the barred door creaking open pulled Remus from his thoughts, and he let out a sigh of relief at the sight of the unmistakable beast of a dog that was Padfoot barrelling towards him, his paws sliding manically against the tiled floor as he strained against the slip lead around his neck.

The girl at the end of the lead valiantly tried to haul him back, the ever-disapproving kennel manager at her side.

"Oh thank fuck, it really is you" Remus's relief overwhelming him as the dog flung himself into his open arms. He hugged him tight, burying his hands deep into the midnight fur, Padfoot simultaneously wagging his tail with joy and whining pitifully as he licked at Remus's face.

"He certainly seems happy to be going home" said the girl holding the lead cheerfully.

"Oh I'm sure he is" Remus couldn't help but grin at the thought of the wailing he would surely have to endure about what a nightmare Sirius had been through once they were home, never mind the fact that he'd gotten himself into this whole mess himself.

"Right, well, thanks for looking after him" Remus got to his feet, hoping to make as swift an exit from this wretched place as possible.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" the kennel manager called after him.

"Sorry?"

"The reclaiming fee. It's thirty pounds"

"Thirty pounds?!"

"That's the policy" the woman's voice was clipped and unapologetic. "All funds go towards caring for the unfortunate dogs without responsible homes to go to"

The way the strangely dislikeable woman spoke, Remus could tell that she did not class him within the "responsible home" category.

"Fine, hang on" he practically growled as he dug a crumpled twenty and tenner out of his inner jacket pocket.

"Thank you" the woman replied stiffly, pressing the notes flat and smooth with her fingers.

"Any time" Remus shot back as the kennel assistant removed the slip lead from around Padfoot's neck. She gave him a fond scratch behind the ears as she did so, and was rewarded with a quick lick of her hand.

"And make sure you replace that broken lead!" the kennel manager called after them as she watched them leave, clearly unhappy at the sight of the loose dog running in excited circles around Remus as they left.

"What the hell did you think you were you playing at?!" Remus wasted no time in letting loose all of the frustration brewing steadily under his forcibly calm and controlled exterior the whole of the bus ride home. The driver had given Padfoot a suspicious side-glance as Remus paid his return fare home but mercifully hadn't decided to forbid him entry.

"If you get us thrown off this bus, I swear to Merlin I will take you back to that shelter and leave you there" Remus hissed low into Sirius's canine ear when he attempted to lean forward to sniff mischievously at the shopping bag of the woman in front which happened to have a tasty-looking pack of sausages poking out.

The dog let out a low whine and was instantly still, and so he remained for the rest of the journey.

"You had me worried sick, Sirius!" Remus snapped at his newly-transformed boyfriend as he slammed the front door shut behind them.

"Aww, how sweet of you" Sirius replied jokingly, his grey eyes practically glittering with their usual mischief. "Calm down, Moony, it's just a bit of fun. No one likes a spoilsport, you know"

"It's not funny, Sirius! You were gone all day! I was thinking all sorts. You could've been run over, snatched by some Muggle lunatic. Hell, I thought the Death Eaters could have found you! But did you think of that? No, you were too busy gallivanting about the park, getting hauled off to the bloody rescue centre just for a bit of fun"

"Hey it wasn't all sunshine and roses for me either at first, you know" Sirius retorted, casually strolling through to the living room to flop himself down onto the sofa as if they'd been out for a normal trip down the shops. "They put me in a kennel next to the rankest-smelling beast I've ever smelled. Anything that smells bad to a human nose is a thousand times' worse to a canine's, believe you me"

"Yes, I'm well aware of that little fact, Sirius, if you'll care to remember" Remus replied through gritted teeth as Sirius summoned the TV magazine with his wand from the coffee table and began flipping through it casually.

Remus vanished the magazine in a sudden burst of heat-less flames.

"What was that for?" Sirius barked in annoyance.

"Stop acting as though what you did today was in any way acceptable and tell me what happened"

"You should really consider going into teaching, Moony. You've already got the 'disapproving Professor' voice down to a fine art"

A warning glare from Remus made Sirius sigh in defeat at last.

"I was just going to take a quick walk around the park for a bit. Scatter a few pigeons, mess up a few flowers, all that general dog crap"

He lowered his voice to a mutter before adding "Even something as mundane as scaring a few birds is better than being stuck in this pit all day"

"And yet this innocent afternoon plan somehow ended up with you stuck in a kennel half way across town over nine hours after you left for your "quick walk""

"It's not like I just strolled into the place of my own accord" Sirius snapped back. "Some Muggle woman grabbed me in the park. Why she just happened to have a spare lead on her is beyond me but I'll say this, those slip leads are deceptively tame-looking. Once it's on you, you ain't shaking it off"

"And you didn't notice a Muggle woman casually walking up to you with a slip lead?" Remus raised his eyebrow disapprovingly.

"No I didn't, as it happens" Sirius suddenly found himself occupied with examining his fingernails. "I was attempting to persuade a Muggle child to play with me"

Remus sighed, covering his eyes with his hand.

"Sirius..."

"She was lonely!" Sirius protested. "You didn't see her there, sat all alone while the other kids played without her. It was heartbreaking. I only wanted to cheer her up a bit"

"I'm sure your intentions were noble, but you cannot be so reckless! You can't just go about drawing that sort of attention to yourself. Muggles aren't used to seeing lone dogs wandering about the park, especially ones as big and mangy-looking as you" "

Now that's just rude" Sirius retorted, feigning offence.

"I don't care. You're not doing it again"

"Oh come on, Moony, please!"

Sirius scrambled to his feet, rushing across the room to grab Remus's shirt in dramatic urgency.

"I can't stay locked in this place for much longer. I need to get out for a bit. It's a good disguise! Okay so it might not have gone perfectly to plan but no one recognised me, that's the main thing, isn't it?"

Remus studied Sirius for a moment, pondering his reply. He took in the look of desperation on his boyfriend's face, compared to the carefree happiness he'd radiated when he'd first transformed back. He had to admit, he had missed Sirius's laughter. The miserable demeanour he'd adopted since they'd been told to isolate themselves really didn't suit him.

And anyway, as Sirius had pointed out, he hadn't been recognised. No one besides himself, James, Lily and Peter even knew about Padfoot. As far as disguises went, there weren't many much better.

"Alright" Remus found himself saying, without his conscience's entire approval. "Alright, fine. It's not like I can stop you if you really want to, anyway"

"True, but it does feel a hell of a lot better knowing that you approve"

Sirius's familiar smile was back once again. He wrapped his arms around Remus and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I never said I approve" Remus corrected him, trying against his will to remain firm and stern in spite of the affection he was currently being showered in. He did, however, give in to the far-too-familiar urge to run his fingers through his lover's long, black hair.

"I said I won't stop you" He gently but firmly pushed Sirius off of him and held him at arm's length, looking him directly in the eye. "But you need to be more careful. You can't be so reckless, drawing so much attention from Muggles if you're not going to stay alert enough to escape from them. Go out for a quiet walk once in a while if you must, but no drawing attention to yourself, and no dramatic stunts. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal" Sirius replied with a wide smile, the picture of innocence.


	4. Chapter 4

"He did what?!"

The kennel manager was dressed identically the same fur-covered fleece and disapproving frown as she had worn on their previous meeting. The side of her mouth twitched (an annoying tick that Remus had noticed flared up in moments when it was obvious that she'd rather launch into a rant than remain polite) as she ran through the breakdown of the crimes of the large black dog currently sat by Remus's side.

In stark contrast to his desperation to escape the shelter as quickly as possible the first time round, at the end of his second brief spell of incarceration, Padfoot had practically trotted out into the reception at the side of the kennel girl holding the slip lead, pausing every few steps to nudge at her pocket which was no doubt full of treats, causing her to giggle happily. He looked as though he'd had the time of his life.

Remus, on the other hand, was currently in Hell.

Since his first disastrous afternoon adventure into the Muggle world in Animagus disguise, Sirius had taken several more trips out of the flat, usually coinciding with the sporadic appearance of the famously-elusive London spring sunshine. True to his word to be careful, he had returned not long after, safe and sound.

This time, however, he hadn't.

Thanks to the collar and licence Remus had forced onto his errant "dog", he had been spared the frantic running about the streets in search of him, and had instead received a call from the same shelter Padfoot had been taken to before with a request to come and collect him.

And now here he stood, offending canine at his side, looking far too pleased with himself as the true extent of his shattered promise not to do anything reckless was revealed.

Remus could only stare at the scowling woman behind the desk, open-mouthed, as Padfoot's crimes were recited to him in excruciating detail.

In full view of a crowd of stunned witnesses, in guise of Padfoot, he had spent a good half-hour scattering flocks of pigeons and geese, noisily drawing as much attention to the spectacle as possible with loud, incessant barking.

Having attracted as much Muggle attention as possible, he had then proceeded to harass the Saturday afternoon park-goers and their dogs by interfering with games of fetch and teasing the other dogs for fights before running off before the Muggles could catch him.

But the worst of all was the tale of how Padfoot had shamelessly launched himself at a woman and, with startling precision, had snatched the wig from atop her head and trotted around it's mortified owner with his prize, practically daring the poor woman to try and snatch it back.

"I'm told that the most interesting part of this spectacle was when he jumped into the river with the wig before returning it to her"

"Did he now?"

Remus glared down at the dog beside at his side who looked up at him with eyes far too innocent for the amount of trouble he had caused.

"Indeed" the manager confirmed, her tone icy. "Quite calmly apparently, I'm told. Almost retriever-like. By all accounts it would have been rather impressive if it had been a pheasant instead of a rather expensive custom-made hairpiece. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that the lady in question was far from impressed. She didn't appreciate having water shaken all over her either, for that matter"

Well, that explained why Padfoot's fur was looking more raggedy than usual, Remus thought to himself, and explained prominent smell of pond-scum.

The thought distracted him from the mixed sense of mortification at the thought of the price of the wig Sirius had ruined, mingled with relief that he wasn't being asked to pay for it.

"So was it her who brought him in then, was it?"

"Oh, no" the manager's unfortunate voice suggested their was a painful amount of this tale yet to be told. "I'm told he made a run for it after that. Luckily by that time, someone had managed to find a policeman"

Remus leaned against the desk, hiding his face in his hand.

"Oh, damn..."

"Quite. The officer informs me that your dog put up quite a good chase, but that he was eventually caught whilst trying to snatch hot-dogs from a vender just outside the park"

Remus couldn't help but choke out a laugh in spite of his brave attempts to hold it back. At his feet, Padfoot began to pant excitedly and thumped his tail against the ground, as though joining in.

"Sorry" he apologised quickly as the kennel manager scowled at him. "It's just a pretty funny image to think of"

The woman narrowed her gaze at him disapprovingly.

"Not funny for the vender, I'm sure" she remarked, her voice clipped.

"No, of course not" Remus forced himself to regain his composure.

"That's twice now that your dog has been brought in as a stray in as many weeks, Mr Lupin" said the manager. "Although I will say I'm pleased to see hes' appropriately licenced this time, I do hope this isn't going to become a regular event"

She raised one eyebrow expectantly at him.

Remus briefly wondered to himself if every lost dog owner received the same dressing-down treatment as him when they collected their runaway charges. This woman should really have considered a career in education; she seemed to have a knack for making people feel like disobedient schoolchildren.

"Believe me, so do I" Remus replied, speaking more to the dog at his side than to the manager behind the desk.

Ten more minutes of lecturing on the importance of getting his broken garden fence mended as soon as possible (Remus thought his on-the-spot excuse was quite convincing) and thirty pounds lighter, and man and dog headed towards the shelter doors at last.

"A policeman, Sirius! A fucking policeman!"

The way Sirius rolled his eyes at him told Remus that his boyfriend clearly thought he was overreacting yet again.

"Don't look at me like that" Remus snapped at him. "That's twice now, Sirius. Twice I've had to pick you up from that bloody place"

"As much as it pains me to admit it, you certainly were right about the licence" said Sirius as he walked through to the kitchen, infuriatingly casual as ever in the face of Remus's fury. "As nice as it is being spoilt by those kennel girls, there's only so many treats you can eat before you get bored. Much more efficient now that they can just call you to pick me up, even if it does mean wearing a collar"

On any other occasion, Remus would be tempted to have his moment of triumph at being proven right, but not today. On this matter, he was far too angry to be so self-indulgent.

"Oh well I'm glad we've got that arrangement sorted for next time" Remus spat back sarcastically as he watched Sirius scowl at the inside of the fridge.

"Damn, how are we out of beer already. I was looking forward to that" he sighed, either blissfully unaware or selectively blind to the building fury that was his boyfriend standing behind him.

"Yeah, because that's the real focus of our problems right now"

"What problems?" Sirius asked, a trace of casual annoyance trickling into his voice. "I went out, had some fun, and now we're both back home, no harm done" Sirius finished with a shrug, settling on a bottle of Coke in the place of the beer he'd hoped for.

Remus gritted his teeth in frustration.

"What's wrong is that you promised not to do anything stupid! Take a short trip out in disguise once in a while, no drawing attention to yourself. That's what we agreed"

Vanishing the metal top of the Coke bottle with a tap of his wand, Sirius took a swig and headed back towards the living room, as casually as if Remus weren't laying into him in that very moment.

"And what do you do?" Remus continued, following him through the flat. "You go and get caught by a bloody Muggle policeman, of all people!"

Sirius flopped himself down onto the sofa, putting his feet up on the coffee table. He seemed to be going out of his way to annoy Remus today. He always hated the scuff marks Sirius's boots left on the furniture.

"I'll tell you something, Moony. That policeman wasn't half a nice bloke" Sirius remarked cheerfully, taking another swig of Coke. "Dead good about the whole situation, he was. Not sure he's ever arrested a dog before, but he certainly was well-stocked for the occasion. Top quality treats he had on him. Venison, if memory serves. Remind me not to tell James that little detail, though"

Remus was running out of energy to be as angry as he wanted to be.

Sirius had that affect on people. He would stay so infuriatingly cool whilst on the receiving end of the annoyance of others that eventually they'd run out of steam and let the matter drop, leaving him, in his mind, victorious, and often off the hook.

To date, the only person this act had failed to work against was Professor Minerva McGonagall.

"Muggle police don't 'arrest' dogs, Sirius" Remus sighed.

He collapsed down onto the opposite end of the sofa to Sirius, resting his forehead in his hands, elbows on knees. Anger had made him weary, his annoyance dulled to a quiet rant, more to himself than to Sirius by this point.

"I tell you to be careful, and you end up being taken to the shelter by the sodding police. I just can't believe you could be so stupid..."

"Well it's a damn sight better than being stuck in here" Sirius snapped, his joking facade gone in an instant.

Being cooped up with so little activity had made him short-tempered, and the slightest trigger could instantly snuff out the joyful spark within him.

"I can't stand this much longer. How long does Dumbledore expect us to just sit here in this flat without any news?"

"And you think I enjoy it, do you?" Remus shot back, glaring sideways at Sirius. "I don't like it any more than you do, but all we can do is trust Dumbledore and wait it out. Preferably, quietly"

Sirius scoffed, draining the last of his drink and slamming the bottle down on the coffee table with perhaps a little more force than necessary.

"Sure, easy for you to say, holed up in underneath your pile of parchment at the table all day. And what am I supposed to do all day, sit here and wait for you to finish proof-reading an essay before gracing me with a conversation?"

"Chance'd be a fine thing" Remus couldn't help but let out a sarcastic laugh. "As if I can get any work done in this place with you plaguing me all day"

"There you go then! I bugger off for a few hours and renew my sanity, you get your work done, then reward yourself with a nice stroll down to the shelter to pick me up. Perfect"

"Exactly which part of that plan is perfect? The part where you compromise the whole plan of us laying low by dragging me out of the flat to rescue you, or the part where you bleed me dry of hard-earned cash paying for bus fairs and shelter fees?"

"Merlin's beard" Sirius sighed in annoyance, flicking his wand in the direction of the bedroom.

A small sack of gold which usually resided in his sock drawer whizzed it's way through the air towards him. Sirius caught it in midair and quickly tossed it across the sofa where it landed with a heavy jingle.

"There, will that cover your bus fares?" he asked sarcastically, tucking his wand behind one ear.

"That's no the point, Sirius!" Remus snapped as he sprung to his feet, ignoring the gold.

"Then what is the point?" The pair were practically shouting by now, their bottled up frustrations with each other threatening to boil over.

"I don't want you putting yourself in danger!" Remus shouted.

He watched Sirius's defensive expression soften ever so slightly, his grey eyes flickering with perhaps the tiniest hint of regret.

"What danger, Moony?" he asked, jumping up from the sofa.. "It's just a bit of harmless fun. It's not like I'm running about the Wizarding parts of the city, it's just an innocent Muggle park! No Death Eater would be caught dead in a place like that. I'm just any other random dog to them. It's not like I'm stupid enough to transform out in public"

"No, just stupid enough to keep getting caught, apparently"

The sarcasm in Remus's voice was biting. Sirius breathed deep, desperately trying to control his famously-short temper, a skill which he was famously inept at but still tried to master.

"I'm going for a lie down" he said, his voice forcibly calm. "Let me know when dinner's ready"

"Going for a sulk, more like" Remus scoffed as Sirius forced his way past him.

Sirius ignored him, marching through towards the bedroom and slamming the door shut behind him.

"And please have a shower before you come out!" Remus called after him. "You stink of pond filth!"

He may not have been granted the honour of a reply, but roughly ten minutes later as he gathered ingredients from the kitchen cupboards, Remus heard the faint sound of a door being eased open, followed by soft footsteps and another door closing.

As expected, when Sirius emerged half an hour later, he was looking far less raggedy, and Remus knew that when he next transformed, Padfoot's tangled, pond-drenched fur would be flowing silkily once more.

"You smell a lot better" Remus remarked as he laid out the cutlery onto the table for dinner, his piles of parchment and books swept away onto the coffee table for now.

"You still reek of self-righteousness" Sirius replied stonily as he sunk into his chair.

His thin-lipped face of defiance melted into an expression of disbelief as Remus put his plate of food in front of him.

Hot-dogs.

"Is this some sort of joke?" he asked.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked, feigning innocence. "From what I've heard you've had something of a craving for hot dogs today. Assuming you aren't too full of treats, that is?"

"Tease all you want, but you're the one missing out here, not me" Sirius took a bite of his food, in spite of his initial displeasure.

"Missing out, am I? On the joys of dog treats?" Remus raised an eyebrow in doubt. "

The beef ones are by far the most superior" said Sirius. "I suppose the chicken ones aren't too bad either. But nothing is worse than tripe. Why any creature with taste buds would choose to taint their stomachs with that rubbish is beyond me"

"I didn't think dogs were that picky"

Sirius sniffed in haughty disapproval, giving away far more of his aristocratic breeding than he would have wished.

"Some of us do have standards, you know"

Remus couldn't help but chuckle.

"Alright, no tripe, got it. I'll be sure to inform the next policeman you get dragged into the shelter by"


End file.
